|
I have a horizontal crack in my
baby fingernail under which a blackish green dendritic mould is
beginning to grow. Lovely. The single cell, the first algae,
photosynthesis, the origin of life. Soon I should have
tadpoles evolving into amphibians and small fish. I will
patiently await the first true vertebrae to venture forth into
the sunlight from my cracked cuticle. New life, the infection
of primordial ooze.
Consciousness, the fruit of
self-awareness, that which separates what we know we are from
everything else which is, has been, or ever will be. All of
what we are, meat animated by electricity that is perishable.
We know this. We know consciousness will not continue, that we
will end.
Therefore we seek to create
something which will remain beyond us, something of substance, a
pyramid, a painting, an idea, children. Because of our fear of
dying, and our inability to know when, we must leave our
explanation of what we were in all of this to those who will
follow, because we believe that we were important enough to
matter.
How arrogant and preposterous,
I know, but humans are frail creatures. Fear of death is the
author of religion. People may have faith in a life
everlasting, but that faith does not make it true. Even though
that belief offers comfort, so does ignorance. It is exactly
the clear know- ledge that life will not last and the anger we
feel at that knowledge, which causes us to create. To create is
to love ourselves, to be- lieve that our explanation to others
of what this life means to us, validates our reason for having
been here in the first place.
So we sculpt, we paint, we
compose, we procreate, because in the end we know we will die.
Before life was the absence of life. Before light there was
darkness. Death is the origin of life. The fruit that rots
leaves it's seeds to spring up through it's putrid flesh. Life
emerges again from death. Our creations reach out through time
to those whom we hope will acknowledge our ability to explain
who we were and what we thought of the pain in this dreadful
life, by what we left behind. We are compelled to create by the
certain and painful knowledge that sooner or later we will be
dead. We are perhaps the only creatures alive who know we are
alive, and who know that we we will not be alive forever.
When you find a fish who can
sing, a cockroach who can compose a poem, a chicken who carves
marble, a rhinoceros who can tell you his name, or a lizard who
accumulates culture, only then will I believe that I am not
alone. Man is the defect. Mankind's conscious- ness and
self-awareness are the fruits of the culmina- tion of evolution
and the reason through which mankind believes that life must end
with man. We attempt to destroy all life through our frustration
to describe what this consciousness represents to us and how
self awareness separates us from everything else which lives.
Life is in perfect harmony.
Mankind is out of joint.
Mankind shall one day perish
and then shall begin again the origin of life, without man. But
there will be nobody here to remember mankind's legacy. No
reason to create, no self-awareness to explain, but for a
blackish green dendritic mould, living underneath a broken
fingernail, struggling to understand, the origin of life. |